Setting Boundaries in an Inaccessible World
Image of the title “Is The “Setting Boundaries in an Inaccessible World ” with the top half a navy background with “Setting Boundaries” and the bottom half is a white background with “in an Inaccessible World.”
Living with a disability, boundaries can be hard when your needs are either assumed for you or not considered at all. Boundaries are important. For your own health and well-being, boundaries can help communicate needs and wants that you are comfortable with to create a safe space for you. As difficult as it can be to set boundaries when considering the need for access in an inaccessible world, it is often necessary to make sure you have the energy to meet basic needs.
How does the level of accessibility and inclusion really impact the need for boundaries? There are many ways that persons with disabilities either do not feel like they can set boundaries or do not know that it is possible. There is also the difference between needs and wants as well as society not considering access needs that impact whether or not persons with disabilities could set up boundaries for their well-being.
Feeling like you cannot set boundaries typically comes from what approach to accessibility someone is following and the level of accessibility that the person with a disability has experienced. If the approach is mainly accommodations based compared to frameworks such as universal designs and accessibility standards, it is likely that the response (or lack of response) about accommodations adds to the difficulty of accessing a need or want.
While accommodations should be met unless there is undue hardship, there are many constraints that exist due to the lack of consideration of accessibility in the planning and design of the environment and activity. This means that if requesting and accessing accommodations is hard, a person with a disability has to make a choice. To fight for their rights to participate and access what the community provides or leave (not do anything about it). Depending on their energy and the boundaries that have been set up will determine the decision. In some ways, leaving the situation and going else (if it is an option) is a boundary.
The decision can be based on the level of accessibility that someone experienced. For some persons with disabilities, they may have never found a space or person who provides them an accessible experience where it was safe, inclusive, and considerate of their time. Unless you know that an experience could exist, placing a boundary may have never been seen as an option.
Some environments may never truly consider accessibility or be considerate of access needs. The decision to speak up is not an easy one. It may not be safe. It may not be within someone’s comfort level. The option to speak up may not exist in the communication style that works for the situation. More importantly, if someone advocates out of necessity enough times, it is exhausting to do it seeing little to no change. Sometimes, the boundary is there to preserve the energy, time, and peace for a person with a disability to live their life.
It is also important to note that different activities throughout someone’s life have different goals. It is mainly divided on whether it is a need or a want. If it is something that someone needs, it is more likely that advocacy will take place if it is the only place they can access the need. If it is considered a want, people are more likely to think through the decision and potentially not waste their energy and time. The level of accessibility between a need and a want varies as the needs and expectations to participate is more of a priority to advocate than a want that is more personal to the individual. It is why barriers and gaps should be closed everywhere so choices are available in the community.
By going through the connection of accessibility and inaccessibility with boundaries, how can you set boundaries for your well-being as a person with a disability? Well, boundaries are based on personal level of comfort and safety. So boundaries set by me for myself are not going to be the same as yours. However, below are some advice I learned along the way that can help you.
If it is a need or an expectation of society, look for resources that could help you out. It can be a resource to help provide education and knowledge about accessibility. It can be a resource on how to self-advocate. It can be resources on disability advocacy and looking for support there. It can be government resources to programs and services to make accessing a need easier for you.
If it is a want, set how many chances you are willing to give for individuals and organizations to learn and accommodate. This likely will also include an evaluation of their responses and actions that is considered worthy of your time and energy to give out chances. If they meet the evaluation criteria then you can give chances to improve. No improvement after your set number of chances, it may be time to take a step back. You cannot do everything and if an individual or organization is not willing to incorporate feedback and implement changes, it may be best to use your advocacy energy elsewhere.
More importantly, if you find places that fit your access needs and include you, maintain them as much as possible. If you have not found them yet, I hope in the near future you will have an experience that is accessible and inclusive. You could even create that space if you have the interest, time, and energy to do it.
Just remember that you are important and deserve the respect and experience that persons without disabilities get to have with little to no barriers. Setting boundaries exists to give you the energy, time, and peace to exist, not to limit you. It may be difficult to set them and maintain boundaries to people who may not understand or respect them but, if it improves your well-being and helps you find experiences of accessibility and inclusivity over time, it can be worth it in the end.
Amanda